Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
