We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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