I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
