WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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