You work out of a Hotel?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
