I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
