My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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