why didn't you poke me back
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
There r osticjed everywhere
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
