she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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