My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
