I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
he puts the penis in happiness.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
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