im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
