no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
