I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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