Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
