the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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