Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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