if you like me you must not know who I am
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
