I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
