i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
