dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
