Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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