Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize