So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You were trust falling into bushes
I am mentally ready for anal.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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