The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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