i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize