Taylor Swift is so right about you.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
