So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
