Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
