FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
