I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
