Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
