I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
