when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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