please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
