It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize