Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Randomize
