Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
it's great music for shaving your balls
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
