Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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