the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
that's an acceptable place to lick
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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