Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
