I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
