I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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