Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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