i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize