i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
