I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
