im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
