I want to stick my p in your. b.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
