And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
