Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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