He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize