I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
