We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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