I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize