just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Your penis caused this!
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