new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
just tell him i said nine months
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
