You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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