Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize