I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Sacagawea was the original milf.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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