I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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