You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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