Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
