Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
okay pat passed out under dana's car
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Randomize
